Article Keds This wasn't one of you guys was it?

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felna

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Discovered this little story during my search on deviant art:

[h=1]Twinkies and Keds
[/h]

*This is a 100% true story. This really happened to me. You can't make this shit up.


I pulled into the self-service car wash with a one-track mind: get the car obsessively clean, and then get to the mall. I told myself I would let myself spend my entire paycheck on clothes and shoes as soon as I finished this one chore.

I got out of the white Eagle Talon (all 98 pounds of me) and looked around. Nobody else in sight. Good. I walked to the change machine, stuck in a five dollar bill, and counted as each quarter hit the metal cup at the bottom. A nondescript sedan pulled in just as I made it back to the vacuum island. I paid no attention to the driver; I just wanted to finish and move on. Cleaning, meh.

Not 15 seconds into my vacuum time, I felt a presence behind me. When I say presence, I don't mean some weird supernatural ghostly cold air presence. Nope, just the feeling I get when another warm body is in my personal space. A creeper. I looked over my shoulder and was surprised to see a very plain looking man in his 40s standing nearly 20 feet away. I guess I overestimated his closeness. He waved at me, then returned his hand to his pocket and stood watching. Great. A man who comes to the car wash to watch 21-year-old art students as they bend over the seats to vacuum their messy cars. He just stood there, watching, waiting. I could see that his once-white polo shirt was a size too small, and his jeans were pleated. (Barf.)(Also, hands in pockets? Creepy.)

The vacuum finally turned off, and I hung it back up, ready to abandon my car cleaning and speed off towards the mall a little early. "Being watched by weird man at car wash" is grounds for abandoning car-cleaning project and rewarding self early. Yes, definitely. However, when I turned around from hanging up the hose, he was standing right there. Right next to the trunk of my car. Rightnexttomeinmypersonalspace.

"Nice car, this is. Give you any problems?"

Relief. Ohhh, he just wants to buy a Talon, he's just a clueless loser wanting to know about my car.

"No. Never. It's nice. Buy the five-speed, it's more fun." I kept my answer short; no need to be friendly and encourage the troll.

"Oh." He pauses. "Hey, what size shoe do you wear, like a 6.5?"

What?? How did we get to this? And how the fuck did he know that? That is creepy.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yeah. Why?" Why the fuck did I answer, more like.

"Oh, I thought so. I sell shoes. I can tell size just by looking."

Oh. Maybe trying to hit on me and not sure how.

I say nothing.

"Say...I have a pair of Keds in my trunk. They aren't used, they were a display pair. They are your size. Would you try them on for me?"

Why? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY???!!!???

"Er, um, why?"

"Well, would you consider yourself an open-minded person?"

"Yes, of course. What does that have to do with Keds? I don't like them. I wore them all through grade school. They are skinny and pointy and ugly. I like my shoes." Losing all patience, I point to my Airwalk skater shoes.

"If I were to, say, go over to that store across the street and buy a Twinkie, would you put the Ked on and like, squish the Twinkie with it?"

OMGWTF this guy is some weird foot/shoe/chemical-laden crappy food fetishist and I bet those Keds came off a corpse. Ew ew EWWW.

"Well...that's a little weird. For one thing, I hate Twinkies and I won't touch one. And I don't know if I want to put on an ugly little shoe that has been tried on by countless misguided women who still think white canvas Keds look good."

and why am I still talking to this freak?

"I'll give you fifty dollars."

What? This dude has fifty bucks that he will give me to squash a nasty snack cake with an ugly shoe? What the hell has the world come to?

"I don't think so. I have to go...to, um, work." That was weak. Come on, tell the guy to fuck off already.

He looks at me.

"I thought you said you were open-minded," he whines.

"Yeah, I meant that in a human way, not a Keds way. Thanks, but, er...no thanks. Late for work. Have to go."

I jumped in my car and sped off. As I was turning out of the lot, he ran to the edge of the ditch separating it from the street.

"WELL WOULD YOU DO IT FOR A HUNDRED???!!?!?!?"
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Re: This wasn't one of you guys was it?

I hope it wasn't one of us, because freaking out women with fetishes gives us a bad name and creepy reputation and would give women the wrong idea about some of us. :icon_eek: Hopefully, if the guy was just a normal guy with a fetish like many of us, he later learned how to get women in his comfort zone before coming out of the closet with the Keds!
 
Re: This wasn't one of you guys was it?

As much as I love Keds (and twinkies)... if that story is true, its a sad and embarrassing way to act towards anyone. As RobinsonSST said...its 'creepy' and is NOT the way to fulfill any fetish or fantasy..."troll"...let's hope the guy gets a life and a new wardrobe...
 
Re: This wasn't one of you guys was it?

Totally agree with you 2. It even happens on the photo sites when a cute girl posts a pics of her wearing Keds and these jackasses then post in the comments section all these creepy, suggestive, or just strange comments. Or the guys who post hardcore pics of themselves wearing Keds then comment on 14 y.o.girls photostreams with links back to theirs. Holy crap guys, come on! These chicks will totally stop posting any pics of themselves wearing Keds or any sneakers if they get bombarded with weird/strange comments every time. Our love of sneakers/Keds/shoes is concentrated in a a VERY SMALL group so please don't scare the hotties out of their Keds and yes I have seen this happen and I wanted to cry ;-((

Thanks for the story Felna
 
Re: This wasn't one of you guys was it?

Yup that is way to creepy. It give us good fetishers a bad name.
 
Re: This wasn't one of you guys was it?

People like them pisses me off.

Got a link to that DA page?
 
Re: This wasn't one of you guys was it?

keds2001 said:
Totally agree with you 2. It even happens on the photo sites when a cute girl posts a pics of her wearing Keds and these jackasses then post in the comments section all these creepy, suggestive, or just strange comments. Or the guys who post hardcore pics of themselves wearing Keds then comment on 14 y.o.girls photostreams with links back to theirs. Holy crap guys, come on! These chicks will totally stop posting any pics of themselves wearing Keds or any sneakers if they get bombarded with weird/strange comments every time. Our love of sneakers/Keds/shoes is concentrated in a a VERY SMALL group so please don't scare the hotties out of their Keds and yes I have seen this happen and I wanted to cry ;-((

Thanks for the story Felna
Click to expand...

I couldn't agree more. Flickr is filled with these guys...creepers who try their best to scare off anyone who'd wear the shoes legitimately. You hit the nail on the head, good sir.
 
Re: This wasn't one of you guys was it?

I don't want to name any names, but some of those creepers lurk around these forums too. It's irresponsible behavior that greatly diminishes the opportunities presented to our community. But I guess it's to be expected, you can't have a bunch of people without a few bad apples tossed in.
 
Re: This wasn't one of you guys was it?

keds2001 said:
Totally agree with you 2. It even happens on the photo sites when a cute girl posts a pics of her wearing Keds and these jackasses then post in the comments section all these creepy, suggestive, or just strange comments. Or the guys who post hardcore pics of themselves wearing Keds then comment on 14 y.o.girls photostreams with links back to theirs. Holy crap guys, come on! These chicks will totally stop posting any pics of themselves wearing Keds or any sneakers if they get bombarded with weird/strange comments every time. Our love of sneakers/Keds/shoes is concentrated in a a VERY SMALL group so please don't scare the hotties out of their Keds and yes I have seen this happen and I wanted to cry ;-((

Thanks for the story Felna
Click to expand...

I couldn't agree more. I've seen it a million times on flickr and elsewhere. The fact that any girls would ever put "keds" as a tag baffles me, given the deluge of sneaker-themed nicknames that leave such forced and clumsy comments on their pictures. I'm sure they would argue that they're encouraging them to wear sneakers more, but you have to know in any brief moment of objectivity that it would irk them a million-fold more than flatter them.

At least if you're going to comment about their shoes, have a username/nick that doesn't include "keds" or "sneaker" in it, have an icon that doesn't show you wearing sneaks, have something other than sneaker pictures in your faves, and include some pictures of cute animals or waterfalls on your own photostream. That way, it appears you more or less stumbled upon their photo and were genuinely moved to comment rather than spend your time trolling the 'net for girls in sneaks (even though we sort of do!).
 
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Re: This wasn't one of you guys was it?

You'd think this would all be common sense... but I guess some people just don't get out much.
 
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