Below is a second Fictional Muddy Keds story. Same question: who would like to see this happen in real life?
Any muddy Keds stories anyone cares to share?
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When I was in high school I helped with an end-of-school year picnic at a local park for my younger brother’s elementary school. We set up the food and all sorts of games for the kids. The head of the PTA, Jill, was a very attractive woman in her 30’s who always looked very nice. Every time I saw her, she was dressed very nice in a “country club” sort of way - never a hair out of place and always wearing coordinated outfits that looked they were fairly expensive.
On this day, Jill was looking very spring-like in her fashions wearing a white Ralph Lauren blouse, (with collar turned up), pastel pink capri-style pants, and bright white canvas Keds. Jill gave us helpers our directions for the morning setup and she did a good job in her ‘supervisor’ capacity. One of the games she had us set up was a tug of war for the two 5[SUP]th[/SUP] grade classes. She thought it would be fun to have it across a narrow, but rather muddy stream near the picnic area. The stream was only five feet across and was more of a swampy morass with barely a trickle of water running through the center. Since the nearest foot-bridge was 50 or so feet away we found a wooden plank to put over the stream near the rope so that getting across was easy.
Jill was giving lots of orders but when the borough mayor showed up, she was also taking lots of credit for the event. Sure, she had a role in planning it but others were doing all of the work getting it set up. When talking to the mayor, she made it sound like she had been there since dawn personally setting up the food and every game. She had me tag along with the two of them taking pictures so that they could be shared at the next council meeting.
She had a very bossy tone with how she was talking to me – and everyone else for that matter. When the three of us got to the water balloon toss area, she had me take a picture of her holding a water balloon in a pose that made her look like she was throwing and catching them. (Even though she would be nowhere near that game when it was actually being played.) Then at the egg relay she did the same thing – pretended for the camera she was going to race. She had me take several pictures wanting to make sure everything, including her long brown hair, was perfect. When we got to the tug of war area, she walked across the plank stopping in the middle. She had me take a picture of her standing over the muck pointing at the mud with a grin on her face. It was about this time that I thought to myself how it would be pretty funny if she somehow fell in. But of course, she didn’t. We got a few pictures of her holding the rope as if she were participating in the tug when in reality that was not going to happen. The thought again crossed my mind as I stood directly across the mud pit from her with her foot right up at the edge holding the rope as if she was pulling with all her might.
Fast forward an hour or so when the picnic was in full swing and all of the kids were having a blast. Jill stayed at the pavilion while most of the games were going on and couldn’t have been less involved. As I was putting some of the food away I saw her checking her long brown hair and make up in her mirror doing some unnecessary personal touch-ups. The mayor returned to the park and Jill sprung back into “action.” All of a sudden she again took charge and herded the kids over to the tug of war area. They all took their shoes off and got on either side of the stream. Jill volunteered her one friend to stand on the board and be the judge. The kids got in place, the judge blew the whistle and the kids commenced to tugging. After just a few moments the first couple kids got pulled into the mud to a chorus of laughs, giggles and screams. The mud was pretty soupy and at least ankle deep. Fortunately, we had told the kids to wear old clothes, bring a change of clothes, and we had a hose to rinse them off when they got back in the grass. After the one team had pulled the other into the mud, the stronger team jumped in too -muddy fun being had by all.
Once they were all in the mud, the mom who was the “judge” tried to pick up the rope to get it out of the mud and in doing so, lost her balance and also ended up in the mud sacrificing a nice pair of Reeboks in the process. Jill got a chuckle out the mishap and said something like, “Awe, even Amy wanted to get in on the fun.” in a snarky tone. Amy just looked up and said, “Real funny” clearly annoyed as she slogged back to the grassy shoreline.
Jill then instructed me to take some more pictures of the kids making sure to get Amy as she sat on the bank taking her shoes off. The kids were still thoroughly enjoying themselves in the mud really churning it into a mucky mess. Jill walked onto the board and made some comment about all of her little ones enjoying their wallow – except of course for Amy. I took a few pictures of her lording over the muddy kids and smiling for the camera. She called herself the ‘master of muddy mayhem’ while I got a picture of her with her hands on her hips with a toothy grin.
From her position on the board, she told the kids to start getting out of the mud and to head over to the hose for a rinsing. A friend of Jill showed up and made her way over to where we were. The friend called out to Jill and remarked how the kids appeared to be having a good time. Jill agreed and pointed to their mutual friend Amy sitting in the grass barefoot shoving her muddy sneakers and socks in a plastic bag. Jill said to the friend, “Everything went well. I wasn’t counting on Amy demonstrating her grace and elegance so that was a bonus!” The friend laughed and Amy pretended to laugh seemingly more irritated with Jill than the mud. The friend abruptly yelled to Jill to “watch out” as one remaining kid started to cross the board from behind her. Muddy from the knees down, the boy thought he could walk on the 18-inch wide board and somehow get around Jill. The boy was moving quickly and there wasn’t time to tell him to stop. Jill stepped to the far side with her back to the edge as close to the side as possible. She had both arms extended out to the sides with only the balls of her feet on the board as she stood on her tippy-toes. Miraculously the boy scurried past and over to the hose without getting any mud on Jill. She relaxed and carefully examined her white blouse, pink cropped pants and pristine white Keds; not even a speck of mud or dirt yet mud had splashed on the board on either side of where she was standing. She looked at her friend and I after pressing down the front of her blouse and said something along the lines of how lucky that kid was.
Jill ran her fingers through her long brown hair and told me to take a picture of a kid’s flip-flop that had been abandoned in the mud. I stepped down next to Amy at the edge of the grass and tried to see what she was talking about. (A brown flip-flop in brown mud doesn’t exactly stand out.) She pointed to it by extending her foot out over the general area and I struggled to get a good shot without having to wade in myself. She continued to talk with this friend from where she was standing seemingly very comfortable with her perch. She said she didn’t want to venture to the hose area as it looked pretty messy and that the other mothers could deal with that. She stood on the board with her right foot right at the edge and her left hanging over the side. Yapping to her friend about the two going out as soon as the picnic was done which was going to be in a few minutes. The friend complimented her on her outfit and she started to explain where she had purchased everything and pointed out something special about the buttons on the blouse. In mid-explanation, she looked down at me and said rather rudely, “are you done yet?!?” I could feel her rolling her eyes at the friend. She resumed talking about her capris and pointed out her new-for-spring Keds saying that she was wearing some cute “no-show” socks which were really comfy. She stepped back to hold the one foot up in the air and her right foot hit a wet spot from where the kid ran across the board. She slid a few inches causing her to lose her balance. In what took just a second, seemed to last for a few minutes. She let out a yelp and tried to regain her balance. She ended up on the side of the board leaning forward over the mud. The toes of her immaculate white Keds were extended over the edge of the board curing down as her arms were going round and round. She teetered back and forth not wanting to fall off the board in either direction saying “no! no! no!” Her left foot then stepped back, slipped again on the wet spot and, overcompensating, she tumbled forward down into the mud with a sickening splat. Landing on her side, she had mud in her hair, all over her white blouse and pink Capris.
There was a collective gasp from the others in the area that turned back around to see Ms. PTA in the slop pit. Jill had a look of abject horror on her face as she came to realize how deep, slimy and disgusting the mud was. Her long hair had flipped into her face and she instinctively ran her hand through the hair spreading mud across her face. Amy let out a loud laugh and Jill slammed her right hand down into the mud in frustration. I stepped out into the mud and extended my hand to help her up. She almost couldn’t speak as she struggled to her feet. All she could say was, “I can’t believe this! My outfit….it’s ruined!”
Her right side was covered in mud from head to toe and most of the left was muddy as well. She kept saying “ewe…ewe” as she went from her side to all fours to her feet. Once standing, she held her arms out and watched the mud drip from everywhere. With her first step, her right shoe stuck in the mud. Her little white ped-sock was still pretty clean and she held her foot in the air not sure what to do. A second later she lost her grip on my hand causing her foot to plunge back down into the mud followed by another “ewww” and “get me out of here!!” The mud bubbled beneath her feet as she squished back to the grass and sat down.
Her friend didn’t know what to say or do. Totally dejected, she walked over to the hose area and got some of the heavy stuff off. The blouse became fairly see-through which also added to her embarrassment. She through the shoes and socks in a garbage can and headed for her car. Some guy offered a blanket for her car seat so she didn’t have to get her Audi dirty. She slinked into her car and headed off. Her perfectly planned day was ultimately derailed by bad karma.
I got a few pictures of the fall as well as the aftermath which her friend Amy made sure made the next PTO newsletter.
Any muddy Keds stories anyone cares to share?
********************
When I was in high school I helped with an end-of-school year picnic at a local park for my younger brother’s elementary school. We set up the food and all sorts of games for the kids. The head of the PTA, Jill, was a very attractive woman in her 30’s who always looked very nice. Every time I saw her, she was dressed very nice in a “country club” sort of way - never a hair out of place and always wearing coordinated outfits that looked they were fairly expensive.
On this day, Jill was looking very spring-like in her fashions wearing a white Ralph Lauren blouse, (with collar turned up), pastel pink capri-style pants, and bright white canvas Keds. Jill gave us helpers our directions for the morning setup and she did a good job in her ‘supervisor’ capacity. One of the games she had us set up was a tug of war for the two 5[SUP]th[/SUP] grade classes. She thought it would be fun to have it across a narrow, but rather muddy stream near the picnic area. The stream was only five feet across and was more of a swampy morass with barely a trickle of water running through the center. Since the nearest foot-bridge was 50 or so feet away we found a wooden plank to put over the stream near the rope so that getting across was easy.
Jill was giving lots of orders but when the borough mayor showed up, she was also taking lots of credit for the event. Sure, she had a role in planning it but others were doing all of the work getting it set up. When talking to the mayor, she made it sound like she had been there since dawn personally setting up the food and every game. She had me tag along with the two of them taking pictures so that they could be shared at the next council meeting.
She had a very bossy tone with how she was talking to me – and everyone else for that matter. When the three of us got to the water balloon toss area, she had me take a picture of her holding a water balloon in a pose that made her look like she was throwing and catching them. (Even though she would be nowhere near that game when it was actually being played.) Then at the egg relay she did the same thing – pretended for the camera she was going to race. She had me take several pictures wanting to make sure everything, including her long brown hair, was perfect. When we got to the tug of war area, she walked across the plank stopping in the middle. She had me take a picture of her standing over the muck pointing at the mud with a grin on her face. It was about this time that I thought to myself how it would be pretty funny if she somehow fell in. But of course, she didn’t. We got a few pictures of her holding the rope as if she were participating in the tug when in reality that was not going to happen. The thought again crossed my mind as I stood directly across the mud pit from her with her foot right up at the edge holding the rope as if she was pulling with all her might.
Fast forward an hour or so when the picnic was in full swing and all of the kids were having a blast. Jill stayed at the pavilion while most of the games were going on and couldn’t have been less involved. As I was putting some of the food away I saw her checking her long brown hair and make up in her mirror doing some unnecessary personal touch-ups. The mayor returned to the park and Jill sprung back into “action.” All of a sudden she again took charge and herded the kids over to the tug of war area. They all took their shoes off and got on either side of the stream. Jill volunteered her one friend to stand on the board and be the judge. The kids got in place, the judge blew the whistle and the kids commenced to tugging. After just a few moments the first couple kids got pulled into the mud to a chorus of laughs, giggles and screams. The mud was pretty soupy and at least ankle deep. Fortunately, we had told the kids to wear old clothes, bring a change of clothes, and we had a hose to rinse them off when they got back in the grass. After the one team had pulled the other into the mud, the stronger team jumped in too -muddy fun being had by all.
Once they were all in the mud, the mom who was the “judge” tried to pick up the rope to get it out of the mud and in doing so, lost her balance and also ended up in the mud sacrificing a nice pair of Reeboks in the process. Jill got a chuckle out the mishap and said something like, “Awe, even Amy wanted to get in on the fun.” in a snarky tone. Amy just looked up and said, “Real funny” clearly annoyed as she slogged back to the grassy shoreline.
Jill then instructed me to take some more pictures of the kids making sure to get Amy as she sat on the bank taking her shoes off. The kids were still thoroughly enjoying themselves in the mud really churning it into a mucky mess. Jill walked onto the board and made some comment about all of her little ones enjoying their wallow – except of course for Amy. I took a few pictures of her lording over the muddy kids and smiling for the camera. She called herself the ‘master of muddy mayhem’ while I got a picture of her with her hands on her hips with a toothy grin.
From her position on the board, she told the kids to start getting out of the mud and to head over to the hose for a rinsing. A friend of Jill showed up and made her way over to where we were. The friend called out to Jill and remarked how the kids appeared to be having a good time. Jill agreed and pointed to their mutual friend Amy sitting in the grass barefoot shoving her muddy sneakers and socks in a plastic bag. Jill said to the friend, “Everything went well. I wasn’t counting on Amy demonstrating her grace and elegance so that was a bonus!” The friend laughed and Amy pretended to laugh seemingly more irritated with Jill than the mud. The friend abruptly yelled to Jill to “watch out” as one remaining kid started to cross the board from behind her. Muddy from the knees down, the boy thought he could walk on the 18-inch wide board and somehow get around Jill. The boy was moving quickly and there wasn’t time to tell him to stop. Jill stepped to the far side with her back to the edge as close to the side as possible. She had both arms extended out to the sides with only the balls of her feet on the board as she stood on her tippy-toes. Miraculously the boy scurried past and over to the hose without getting any mud on Jill. She relaxed and carefully examined her white blouse, pink cropped pants and pristine white Keds; not even a speck of mud or dirt yet mud had splashed on the board on either side of where she was standing. She looked at her friend and I after pressing down the front of her blouse and said something along the lines of how lucky that kid was.
Jill ran her fingers through her long brown hair and told me to take a picture of a kid’s flip-flop that had been abandoned in the mud. I stepped down next to Amy at the edge of the grass and tried to see what she was talking about. (A brown flip-flop in brown mud doesn’t exactly stand out.) She pointed to it by extending her foot out over the general area and I struggled to get a good shot without having to wade in myself. She continued to talk with this friend from where she was standing seemingly very comfortable with her perch. She said she didn’t want to venture to the hose area as it looked pretty messy and that the other mothers could deal with that. She stood on the board with her right foot right at the edge and her left hanging over the side. Yapping to her friend about the two going out as soon as the picnic was done which was going to be in a few minutes. The friend complimented her on her outfit and she started to explain where she had purchased everything and pointed out something special about the buttons on the blouse. In mid-explanation, she looked down at me and said rather rudely, “are you done yet?!?” I could feel her rolling her eyes at the friend. She resumed talking about her capris and pointed out her new-for-spring Keds saying that she was wearing some cute “no-show” socks which were really comfy. She stepped back to hold the one foot up in the air and her right foot hit a wet spot from where the kid ran across the board. She slid a few inches causing her to lose her balance. In what took just a second, seemed to last for a few minutes. She let out a yelp and tried to regain her balance. She ended up on the side of the board leaning forward over the mud. The toes of her immaculate white Keds were extended over the edge of the board curing down as her arms were going round and round. She teetered back and forth not wanting to fall off the board in either direction saying “no! no! no!” Her left foot then stepped back, slipped again on the wet spot and, overcompensating, she tumbled forward down into the mud with a sickening splat. Landing on her side, she had mud in her hair, all over her white blouse and pink Capris.
There was a collective gasp from the others in the area that turned back around to see Ms. PTA in the slop pit. Jill had a look of abject horror on her face as she came to realize how deep, slimy and disgusting the mud was. Her long hair had flipped into her face and she instinctively ran her hand through the hair spreading mud across her face. Amy let out a loud laugh and Jill slammed her right hand down into the mud in frustration. I stepped out into the mud and extended my hand to help her up. She almost couldn’t speak as she struggled to her feet. All she could say was, “I can’t believe this! My outfit….it’s ruined!”
Her right side was covered in mud from head to toe and most of the left was muddy as well. She kept saying “ewe…ewe” as she went from her side to all fours to her feet. Once standing, she held her arms out and watched the mud drip from everywhere. With her first step, her right shoe stuck in the mud. Her little white ped-sock was still pretty clean and she held her foot in the air not sure what to do. A second later she lost her grip on my hand causing her foot to plunge back down into the mud followed by another “ewww” and “get me out of here!!” The mud bubbled beneath her feet as she squished back to the grass and sat down.
Her friend didn’t know what to say or do. Totally dejected, she walked over to the hose area and got some of the heavy stuff off. The blouse became fairly see-through which also added to her embarrassment. She through the shoes and socks in a garbage can and headed for her car. Some guy offered a blanket for her car seat so she didn’t have to get her Audi dirty. She slinked into her car and headed off. Her perfectly planned day was ultimately derailed by bad karma.
I got a few pictures of the fall as well as the aftermath which her friend Amy made sure made the next PTO newsletter.